By design
On day 326
“A new life has been given us or, if you prefer, “a design for living” that really works.” -ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 28
One might say there is a point to all this. Destiny. KA. A plan. It’s by design. At least in my humble opinion.
I used to plan my life around my weekend. I loved Fridays. The anticipation. The need to let loose. To let my hair down. To tie one on. I would shiver in anticipation for it to start.
What do you call an alcoholic who only drinks on the weekend? An alcoholic.
My point is, call a duck a duck. If it swims, paddles and quacks, it’s a duck. I was a duck.
I used to rationalize my drinking by pointing out that I didn't drink Monday through Thursday. It didn't matter how much I loved my drinking weekend boondoggles, I had it all together. I could handle it. Didn't everyone need to decompress?
Not the way I did. Swaying in my stool. Drinking to oblivion.
When I was in the forest I could never see the trees. I had to leave. To find my path to sobriety and make my way out of the maze to see it. Now that I see it, I can’t unsee it. Ever.
So here I am. Sober. Just observing. It's Friday at 1 am. After work, I'll have some coffee or tea, hugs my dogs, give my husband a kiss, and thank the universe I have THIS.
There is only this you see. The here. The now. These moments to treasure. There are too precious for me to waste. I must savor each minute. One day at a time.
On day 326.
