JEM Take A Bow

On day 277

The daily reflection for today talks about strength via defeat. A phoenix rising from the ashes.

That is me a bit. I feel anew some days. Sober. Happy. Then other days. Well you know. My anxiety is on high some days.

One of my little stories was just a few paragraphs in a book about The Smiths by Iain Key and Richard Houghton titled, It’s Time The Tale Were Told. The book is great, a compilation of snippets from people who love the band so. I've loved the band for what feels like forever. Forty years or so.

There’s a song by The Smiths called “Shiela Take a Bow”. The song reads, “How can someone so young sing words so sad?” That’s me. How can I write about sadness all the time? My writing IS melancholy lately. It sure feels like it is. Am I wrong? I want to be funny. I want to make you laugh. But the bittersweet remains. Princess Hamlet.

Maybe it’s memory itself. Or maybe it’s just me.

Back to the Smiths. Something is Morrissey’s lyrics touched me deeply as a teen growing up in Ontario, California. I often felt lost. His lyrics captured it. The loneliness. The knowing.

The truth is, I still feel lost most days. And I don’t know exactly who or where I am in life now that I'm not drinking. No more drunk punk rock girl. Just me. Punkish still for sure.

But sober.

Trying to be this charming woman. Who loves this charming man.

On day 277. #smiths #writer