Scaredy Cat

On day 278

I used to be scared a lot. Sometimes I still am, but I am trying to live life with positivity and anticipation.

My fear used to manifest as stage fright. I rarely ever drank before a reading performance and I remember one year, I was reading at the Macondo writers conference that I am part of. I was so scared that I was literally shaking in my boots. I felt like I might throw up. There were a lot of my literary idols watching.

A professor of mine told me, “Juanita, take that anxiety and turn it into excitement. Tell yourself, I am so excited! Over and over.” She reminded me that everyone wanted me to rock it. And it worked.

Another friend once told me that every performance is perfect because it’s who you are in the moment. So just be present.

I am now trying to live life that way. I know that I act confident, but living it sober is different. It’s fucking hard.

So here’s to bringing our true selves to the world and living life sober, happy and free.

On day 278. #writer #sobriety