Secrets
On day 228
Today’s daily reflection is about secrets and healing. After I read it, I almost said aloud, “it’s reading my flipping mind.”
Recently, I have been writing a lot about my trauma. About my pain. About what makes me sad, angry, and shameful. It’s not been an easy process, but it has been valuable. For a long time, I lived pushing things down, not holding them up to the light. But no more.
Now on day 228 of my sobriety, I am trying to work on my inner self to discover why I needed to numb myself for so long. What was I scared to address? To feel?
Even this substack is more about discovery and reflection than anything else. It is really for me; Yes, I am sharing it. But it’s my innermost thoughts on recovery. I am not a person who only talks about sobriety in my daily life. Usually, I’m talking about the most recent book I have read (Strangers if ya wanna know), the just aired episode of Top Chef or Survivor and/or a band I’ve heard. Or maybe chatting about my three Shih Tzus (usually it's about them).
Yet here, in the one year project, it’s nice to be able to do this excavation. In my imagination, my brain is like a cave full of those weird things called stalactites. All of these icicles hanging off my mind. Stuff that can be melted. They’re partially frozen in there, yes, but maybe I can break them free and lighten myself in the process.
So here I am. Breaking that shit down. Bringing in some light. On day 228.
